I grew up thinking I was a bit mad. I was told that often enough. “Do you know you’re crazy thinking that …” “What do you mean you see what’s going to happen? Don't be silly.” “Goodness, your imagination?!” I was made wrong for a lot of what I was aware of.
With all those projections on me, I was told I was many things. Weird, a little crazy, stupid , and a nutter. Kind friends I had, huh?
In fact, I wasn’t crazy. I was just aware in a different way.
I grew up in a time before "on the spectrum" was something society accepted. I was labeled as sensitive, cognitively slow and hyper.
The signs were all there. I never spoke before until I was 4 years old. I was hyper-sensitive to everyone around me (noise especially)
I used to think that the way my mind worked was back to front compared to other people. And yet I still managed to (somehow) do well in school and university, and in working life without ever really knowing how...
I'm not saying I was dysfunctional, I wasn't. I was (and am) different though.
I heard things said in class in a different way.
I remembered different things than the other students.
I had a terrible memory yet I was able to pull things out of my mind when I pictured the scenario it was said in.
I didn't see the point in a lot of what I saw as pointless 'doing' such as science experiments when it seemed that we were just going through the motions to get to the answer we all knew was coming.
I didn't get why people would have to say the same thing over and over just in different ways and with different words. Why was there always so much talking and so many words?
I didn't react emotionally in an appropriate way. I didn't get sarcasm. And I was just generally quite often confused by people.
Diva Diaz is an Access Consciousness® and X-Men facilitator. Being an X-Men herself, she is passionate about this topic and the change this work creates!